16 Days Against Gender Violence

Hot Off the Press from endabuse.org:

Today is the beginning of 16 Days of Activism Against Gender Violence, which each year sends a powerful worldwide message that gender-based violence violates basic human rights. Events begin today, November 25, the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, and continue through December 10, International Human Rights Day. More than 2,000 organizations in more than 150 countries have participated since the campaign began in 1991.

International Human Rights Day is the 60th anniversary of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights (UDHR), a historic moment that recognizes the past six decades of work to secure the conventions and treaties that make up the human rights framework. 16 Days organizers emphasize that human rights cannot be universal without human rights for women. “Human Rights for Women – Human Rights for All; UDHR60” is the theme of this year’s 16 Days campaign.

The 2008 16 Days activities are designed to:

Support women human rights defenders;

End violence against women;

Strengthen gender equity structures in the United Nations; and

Expand financing for gender equality.

16 Days of Activism Against Gender Violence calls for eliminating all forms of violence against women by establishing a link between local and international anti-violence work, providing a forum for organizers to develop and share strategies, demonstrating the solidarity of women around the world who are organizing against gender-based violence, and creating tools to pressure governments to implement promises to eliminate violence against women.

In the United States, the Family Violence Prevention Fund, Women Thrive Worldwide and Amnesty International USA are urging Americans to ask their congressional representatives to co-sponsor the International Violence Against Women Act during the 16 Days. Click here to take action.

Worldwide Activities
Events planned for the 16 Days range from small, grassroots local events to those organized by powerful national or worldwide organizations.

The Prajnya Trust in Chennai, India, is hosting a campaign to raise awareness of the many ways in which women are vulnerable to violence, from their homes to zones of conflict. Its activities include campus contests, workshops and rallies. There will also be policy-focused events as well as public events held in partnership with other organizations.

The Asociación de Mujeres de Orihuela Clara Campoamor in Spain is sponsoring a photograph exhibition that illustrates the horrors associated with human trafficking. Primary and secondary school children will use the photos as a basis for art and literature projects.

In Trinidad and Tobago, the Caribbean Association for Feminist Research and Action Trinidad and Tobago will hold a walk through the borough of Chaguanas on November 29.

Here in the U.S., the San Francisco-based Women’s Wisdom Work Collective is organizing three days of events to commemorate the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women. It begins with a rally and march on November 25, and continues with a film, poetry, music and more on November 28. The events will culminate with a day-long block party on November 29.

During the 16 Days, RAISE Hope for Congo is asking advocates to click here and sign the petition to President-Elect Obama asking him to take immediate action to end the violence against women and girls in the Congo. In the next 16 Days, recruit 16 friends to join RAISE Hope for Congo, and then ask those 16 friends to recruit 16 of their friends. When thousands of voices become millions of voices demanding an end to the violence, our leaders will act.

UNIFEM recently released a new internet tool, a Say NO to Violence widget for use during the 16 Days. Supporters with blogs, MySpace, Facebook, or other web sites can add the widget and invite friends to sign up. The widget counts signatures, so advocates can collect names for the campaign right on their own web site. To upload the Say NO to Violence widget: click here; click on embed; press the Facebook, MySpace or LiveJournal button (depending on the type of social networking site). Or choose “click here to grab code” and the code will be copied to your clipboard, after which it can be pasted on any homepage or organization’s web site.

More information on the 16 Days campaign is available here. The 16 Days Campaign is organized by the Center for Women’s Global Leadership at Rutgers University. To urge your Representative in Congress to cosponsor the International Violence Against Women Act, please click here.

Men are microwaves, women are crock pots

Yes, that's right. According to the professionally certified sex educator Jay Friedman, when it comes to sexual climax, men are microwaves and women are crock pots. Men are aroused quickly, shoot straight up into orgasm and then collapse into, well, sleep - a parabolic reaction. Women take longer to arouse but slope upwards into orgasm, dipping slightly before continuing to climb the pleasure scale in the concept known as multiple orgasms.

On Wednesday, November 5th, over 250 students attended the lecture performance "The J-Spot: A Sex Educator Tells All" sponsored by MAASV, SaGA, the WRC and the Advocates Program. Who is Jay Friedman? He is the real deal. Since his days at Cornell University (his alma mater) running the How to Be a Better Lover peer education program, Jay has captivated huge crowds at hundreds of campuses with his insights and outbursts on love, sex and dating. In fact, he is a multi-year nominee for the National Association for Campus Activities' highly coveted honor of “Lecture of the Year.”

In high demand both in the U.S. and overseas, Jay has an unmatched wealth of knowledge, humorous stories, and (of course!) useful tips and techniques to share. He is a man on a mission: to inform, provoke and challenge - and to make sure everyone has fun along the way. Jay's frank and funny style pulls no punches. He's been called “the Michael Moore of sex education” for opening eyes to the truth about sex in our culture - at the same time maintaining a rare and much-appreciated sex-positive focus while affirming the diverse choices of all in his audiences.

A sex educator for more than 22 years, he's worked for a family planning organization, in college health, and as a consultant throughout Europe, New Zealand, China and Japan. Far from fluff, his lecture performance is the most stimulating, informative, provocative and up-to-the-minute exposé on the subject everyone finds fascinating: SEX.

Jay's lecture-performance is educational, entertaining and enjoyable for persons from all sexual backgrounds. He engages the audience around the Three P's: Prevention, Pleasure and Political/cultural climate. As a self-described "bipartisan basher," Jay offers valuable insight from the perspective of a sex educator about key political and cultural controversies facing us today on a national and international level.

Interested in learning more about Jay and his incredible lecture-performance? Check out his blog by clicking here. Are you wondering how YOU can become a sex educator??? Check out these resources (pdf file).

Would you like to see Jay Friedman return to St. Lawrence?? Post your comments here or submit your request on the "Ask an Advocate" section of the Advocates Program website. The more we hear from you, the more likely we can bring Jay back!

Going Beyond

On Tuesday, October 8th, the Advocates Program challenged the campus to Go Beyond what they think they know about domestic and sexual violence. Go Beyond is a unique-to-SLU multi-media event intended to provide sexual violence education in an engaging, empowering and effective manner. This year's coordinator, Jami Laubich ('10), worked hard to include students from many organizations and groups on campus, including: MAASV, SUBS, ASIA, SaGA, Thelmo, the WRC, The Artist Guild, BSU, Greeks, The Singing Saints and the Singing Sinners.

Go Beyond is the keynote event of the Advocates Program each semester, beginning in March 2005 when SLU students Mia Hutchinson-Cabbibi and Denise Gonyo created the event to speak out against sexual assault at St. Lawrence. Although the event occurs each semester, the program is different based upon the vision of the Go Beyond Coordinator and the students who volunteer to participate in its planning. One of the many new performances in this Go Beyond was the addition of the"Kiss the Girl" skit with vocals performed by the Singing Saints. The premise? Prince Eric is looking for a way to kiss the beautiful Aeriel without violating her right to give consent. Advocates, dressed in purple, remind the Prince that he has to get consent before kissing the girl, inspiring the vocalists to change the lyrics to the famous Disney Song to reflect the need for consent before acting on impulse.

Another unique presentation at Go Beyond was the key note lecture by Claude Bartholomew (Class of 2007) about "Honing in on Homophobia." Claude spoke about his work with the Boston Area Gay Men's Domestic Violence Project (GMDVP) and about the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer (GLBTQ) community at St. Lawrence. He challenged the concept of homophobia, focusing on the heteronormative nature of the campus and how students struggle to accept the sexuality preferences of their peers. He spoke about the homonormativity of his colleagues at the GMDVP and the danger in promoting this type of "equality" and its implications for working in the field of sexual violence advocacy.

I would like to say "Thank you!" to the many individuals who helped make this semester's Go Beyond a huge success. With over 250 students, faculty and staff attending the event, the organizers should be proud of their hard work and powerful message to the community. St. Lawrence is a place where survivors of violence are supported and perpetrators are discouraged from completing a violent incident.

Random Acts of Intervention

From an email sent to Katie by an Advocate:

Two students (X and X) were sitting in the pub last night and their friend, a sophomore male approached them to chit chat. He asked them if they were in the advocates program, they both said yes. He went on to tell them a story of the previous weekend. He was telling them about how he was coming back from the Town Houses and he saw some girls he knew being talked to in a demeaning way. The guys talking to them were saying things such as "show us your tits" etc. The guys were sexually harassing them. He walked up and said, "under state law number 173 the way you are speaking to these ladies is clearly defined as sexual harassment so why don't you quit it unless you want me to call security and get you arrested."

Let X just point out, this friend of theirs who said that is not a football player or even a boy who is stocky enough to win a fight. The boys argued for a bit but eventually went away. X thinks it was amazing that their friend got up the courage to nip the problem in the bud so to speak. Not many people would take the time to stop and put themselves in an awkward position by saying something, but he did. Thought you might like to hear that, and maybe proactive actions such as this should be shared with the fellow advocates or the campus to show that people are taking this issue seriously and the glimmer of hope to end sexual harassment and violence is growing bigger each day.

Reflections on VAWA

The following is a note that I received this morning from Cindy Dyer, Director of the Office on Violence Against Women (OVW). The OVW is the governmental agency funding the AWARE Project, the formal name of the grant supporting the Advocates Program. Please take a few moments to review her words about the Violence Against Women Act and to reflect on both the progress we have made and the work left to do in this movement.

Dear Friends,

Tomorrow, September 13, 2008, marks the landmark passage of the Violence Against Women Act. This anniversary has given me a chance to pause from my daily activities and reflect on the impact this Act has had in my own personal life, career, and community. As many of you know, before coming to OVW, I served as a specialized family violence and sexual assault prosecutor for fourteen years. I was also an OVW grantee in Texas of both formula and discretionary funds.

In 1994, I was the sole prosecutor representing the specialized family violence division within the District Attorney’s Office. Through OVW funds, we were able to expand our division. When I left the District Attorney’s Office in 2007 the family violence division was one of the largest in the office. I can personally tell you that the way sexual assault and domestic violence cases are prosecuted and managed in Dallas, Texas has improved dramatically.

I know that mine is just one of many stories representing the mission and history of OVW. Thank you for the vital work you are doing. And just look at how far we have come! I think I will get up and come back to work again on Monday.

Sincerely,

Cindy Dyer
Director, Office on Violence Against Women
United States Department of Justice

Hooking Up

Although I am not too far removed from college myself, I find myself amazed at the transformation in rhetoric that occurs with each incoming class. Phrases that were once familiar to me have become antiquated ("going out" comes to mind), while others lead to a confused expression sweeping across my face until I can gather enough context clues to deduce what my students are discussing. At a recent Advocates meeting, I asked the group to help me define "hooking up" on the SLU campus. Here is the list that they created:

sex
the whole shi-bang
anything beyond kissing
after kissing but before sex
in high school, it means making out; in college, it means sex
something more serious than kissing
varies from person to person based on their experience
doing whatever without a firm commitment
good conversations
meeting someone for lunch
something slutty women do

When asked how you can tell if someone wishes to hook up with you, the students gave the following replies:

eyebrows raise
pupils dilate
touching is flirty
fingers pointed in your direction
person inching closer to you
suggestive dancing
you just go for it
solicitation is texted
you just know
they ask


What does hooking up mean to you?? How do you know if someone wishes to hook up with you????

Recruiting for Purple

Leah Farrar ('11), Meredith Clynes ('09) and April Spearance (coordinator) set up the Advocates Program table at the 2008 Student Organizational Fair on Friday, September 5th. With bright sunshine and beginning-of-the-weekend energy, the Advocates prepared to encourage others to don their best purple and learn more about the Program. Passerbyers could pick up brochures about sexual assault, dating violence, stalking and GLBT (Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender) experiences of sexual violence. What else do the Advocates have to offer? Purple pens and post-its with the Sexual Violence Hotline number, registration forms for the upcoming 8K "Stop the Violence" walk/run raising money for the Renewal House and sign-ups for the 2009 The Vagina Monologues.

Vagina what? The Advocates Program will be producing the 2009 V-Day College Campaign Production of The Vagina Monologues. Junior Rez Lawlor will direct the performance, hosting auditions in late-October/early-November. Although many students question their ability to participate in a theatrical production, the Advocates encourage any student interested in speaking out against sexual violence to volunteer in this activism-based program. Interested in signing up for The Vagina Monologues? Email April at aspearance@stlawu.edu.

Can I Kiss You?

On Wednesday, August 27th, first year students gathered in Gulick Theater with their Orientation Leaders, Community Assistants and Advocates to watch Can I Kiss You? with Mike Domitrz. Mike has been inspiring students with his hilarious sense of humor and his truly unique approach to healthier dating and communication for over fifteen years. As an interactive and entertaining expert on dating and intimacy, Mike teaches audience members how to ask for what they want sexually or intimately - without having to play any of the games. He reveals a fun and revoluntionary approach to insuring each person's boundaries are respected. While he presents one of the "cleanest" shows, Mike holds nothing back. Males and females from all cultures, backgrounds, sexual orientations and diverse populations appreciate his sincerity and honesty.

As a critically-acclaimed author and the Executive Director of "The Date Safe Project" (www.datesafeproject.org), Mike works closely with students and campuses across the country to produce national initiatives resulting in revolutionary change in America's approach to dating, respect and intimacy.

SLU students remarked that Mike's performance "was the highlight of Orientation" and was "the best way to end the week!" Conversations about Can I Kiss You? could be heard on the walk back from Gulick, in the residence halls and at Dana throughout the days following his presentation on campus.

Top: Becca Gilbert ('09), Ardelle Rivera ('09), Liz Reed ('10), Leah Farrar ('11), Amanda Mereau, and Brooke James. Bottom: Anne Dunham ('10), Mike Domitrz and Katie Protos.

Gearing up for the new year!

Welcome class of 2012 and welcome back to all returning students! The Advocates have been busy preparing for the arrival of their peers, with 16 volunteers returning to campus on Friday, August 22nd to participate in ActIVE Training. What is ActIVE? It's our newest addition to the Advocates Program, standing for Acting for Intervention and Violence Education, and represents our peer education corps within the Program.

Friday found the students participating in a conversation with the Community Assistants and Orientation Leaders regarding the new program for first years, Spin the Bottle. No, it's not an awkward kissing game involving an empty bottle in the middle of the room, at least not at SLU. Here, Spin the Bottle is a movie screened during Orientation that engages the first years in conversation about alcohol, gender, cultural norms and violence. Each FYP was paired with CAs, OLs and an Advocate - thus the need for time Friday to prepare as a group for the arrival of the first years.

So what does ActIVE training look like? Advocates spent the weekend with April and me in Herring-Cole, reviewing facts about sexual assault, dating violence and stalking through a Family Feud game (teams included Saved by the Bell, Married with Children, Are You Afraid of the Dark? and Double Dare). They were challenged to compete in "Extemporaneous Experiments" - a series of vignettes using improv to break through fears of public speaking, being unprepared or looking like a fool in front of others. From there, students spent time practicing various skits used by the Advocates Program in its campus trainings and presentations.

Training continued on Sunday, including a rigorous game of "Zip-Zap-Zop" and a competition "In Search of Cool." After lunch, students created shirts to identify the Advocates on campus through a creative approach to tye-dying. What was creative about it? Only one of us had any experience with this beforehand!!

The group spent a great deal of time engaging in conversation about the upcoming year, preparing programmatic ideas and challenging each other to "step it up" for bigger, better and more inclusive events throughout the year. Do not be fooled, there was just as much time spent getting to know each other, laughing hysterically and sipping on cups of fresh coffee over a donut or bowl of chips.

Stay tuned for more exciting initiatives coming from this group of ActIVE volunteers - they have great things planned for SLU!

Welcome!

The Advocates Program has decided to join the electronic world of blogging to welcome you behind the scenes of various students and staff involved with the Advocates at St. Lawrence University. We hope to create a safe space for discussions about sexual assault, dating and domestic violence, stalking, healthy relationships, bystander intervention and prevention of sexually violent crimes. We ask your assistance in maintaining a few ground rules:

• Amnesty: The right for someone to change their mind during a discussion or over time.
• Respect: Please refrain from using pejorative statements or personal attacks. Please do not use the last names of others without their permission.
  
• Participation: All opinions are welcome. We encourage you to join the conversation, especially if you disagree with something being discussed. There are no wrong answers or opinions. We are interested in hearing everyone's comments whether or not they agree with the authors of this blog.
• Honesty: The idea that participants will not reproduce the work of another without giving due credit and that participants will not knowingly perpetuate falsities.

By posting on this blog, you agree to abide by these rules. We look forward to meeting you online!